Hot Topics: The Said Debate (Abverbial and Action Tags)

So by now you’re really discouraged and are probably wondering what other ways are there to spice up dialogue.

Well here’s one way,

“Mark, you should go,” Julie said blankly. “It’s your dream. Besides, you’ll never shut up about it if you don’t go.”

“But Julie,” Mark said sadly. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Mark,” Julie said with annoyance. “Go.”

This an adverbial dialogue tag and it describes the way a character says something. And often these are better then using Said Bookisms. They can be especially useful to give necessary tonal information if the context of the scene or conversation doesn’t. However as you can see in this example, it's easy to over do them too. (These sometime get the nickname Tom Swifties if they're puns. Please be aware of unintended puns, your audience might laugh at you.)

Anyway, in a similar vein you can describe how the words are being said, without the direct tag (this would technically be an action tag). A trick I commonly use.

“But Julie.” His voice trembled slightly. “I don’t want to leave you.”

However just like adverbial tags using these too much, too often can be redundant and lessen their impact. However describing the way something is spoken or using adverbial tags can be especially useful for avoiding those impossible Said Bookisms like ‘she laughed’. For example: “I don’t know.” Her words were breathy, interrupted by laughter. “He just did!” or “I don’t know,” she said brokenly, her words interrupted by her laughter. “He just did!”

My last example is the one I use commonly and that’s the action tag (and again note that action tags are separated from the dialogue by a period, not a coma). Like so...

“Mark you should go.” Julie turned away from him picking out a dirty dish from the sink to wash. “It’s your dream. Besides, you’ll never shut up about it if you don’t go.”

“But Julie.” Mark stepped closer. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Mark.” Julie glanced up at him. “Go.”

Now action tags are INCREDIBLY useful, they can do double, even triple duty. You can let the action inform the reader who is speaking and the tone of the dialogue. Julie is clearly trying to avoid the issue until Mark insists and won’t let her escape. Mark is feeling like she's not listening to him. This is powerful stuff as it leaves much of the interpretation up to the reader and it's easier to avoid writing things that seem out of character or overly extreme and melodramatic. However these tags can slow the pace of the dialogue down so keep that in mind, especially if it's meant to be a fast exchange or an action scene. They read as a mental pause or beat on the page. It can also have the problem of making your characters seem hyperactive if you over use it. Make sure that every action isn't grand and that you're careful not to describe every subtle movement. That can get very soap opera-y too if over used (think constant zooming in on overly expressive eyes). Sometimes people really are just sitting around, doing nothing, and talking.

Lastly you can even go a few lines without any tags as long as you give the reader enough earlier information to figure out who is speaking. However this can easily become Talking Head Syndrome, which means the character's become nothing more then voices in a vacuum. Action tags can help avoid this by engaging the physical world of your story, but even just regular tags work fine.

One last note, a dialogue tag should never interrupt a complete sentence of dialogue. An action tag can sometimes interrupt a complete sentence, but be aware that it will create a pause in the sentence so make sure it doesn't read weirdly (would someone in real life pause there?). Otherwise use it either between two sentences or before or after one. Putting them between an incomplete and complete sentence can work just keep the pause in mind.

In conclusion there are very few hard and fast rules when to use what tags where. That knowledge is something that comes with experience and settles with the evolution of your personal style or voice.

“Good luck writing.” Fireheart raised a figurative hand in farewell. “And have fun!”